Two gentlemen, the best of friends for years and both a little portly in appearance, had reluctantly vacated the hotel with the black and silver walls in the corridors, lift still nowhere to be seen, and pulled their suitcases to the car park alongside an enormous castle with vast curtain walls, medieval towers - and a history harking back to Roman times.
Tony didn't have strong objections about continuing on, but Harry, with his love of all things medieval, having enjoyed visiting the magnificence of Carcassonne with more than a little relish, felt sorry they were leaving.
'Onward and upward, eh old friend?' remarked Tony.
He packed the last of the bags into the boot of the black Mercedes, while Harry began giving Miss Madam, the satellite navigation, her marching orders for the day. They had named her that as she always sounded so bossy.
'Hey, not so much of the old, thank you. Where're still standing, aren't we?'
Harry was muttering, while trying to concentrate on the various dials and switches near the dashboard. He had barely become accustomed to the complex buttons and method of programming the sat/nav, before leaving England. It wasn't easy to familiarize himself with such up to date technology at his age. A lengthy tour in the south of France and what lay beyond for them to explore, had been planned for some time. Now they were well into retirement, not quite in their dotage, were determined to enjoy 'what lay over the next hill.'
But that was all in the past. They had left Carcassonne behind and the not-to-be-repeated experience of going round and round in circles, looking for their hotel in Avignon, amidst narrow medieval streets. Finally they had to abort their three night stay, as Miss Madam had thrown up her hands in despair, abandoning them when they most needed her.
Tony looked out of the window of the car as they sped along an easy main road for driving, heading to the coast of the Mediterranean, and laughed.
'I hope we don't have to go through that again!'
'Through what?' came a voice from the dashboard.'
Harry quickly glanced over at Tony, his mouth contorting in a grimace as it moved from side to side.
'Here we go. She's off again!'
'I heard that!' replied Miss Madam.
'You were supposed to!' Tony rolled his eyes at Harry with a slight shake of the head.
A few kilometers on, there came a crisp female command.
'At the next roundabout, take the third exit'. Then repeated soon after. 'Take the third exit at the roundabout.
'I wonder what would happen if I took the second exit, eh? That would confuse her, wouldn't it?' Harry said, sorely tempted.
'I'd find you,' came the reply. 'You can't lose me that easily!'
'Ho ho!' cried Tony, becoming defiant. He looked over at Harry who was trying to concentrate on his driving.
'Can't we?' he said with a grin, still looking at Harry, before pulling a face.
'You can try, but you may come off second best,' retorted Miss Madam, sharply.
Harry just continued driving, the road up ahead becoming more of a challenge.
'You win for now,' he sighed, turning the car away from an oncoming French driver, far too close to the middle of the road.
'I thought you'd see sense,' came the reply.
'Hey ho..., muttered Tony, clinging firmly to his seat, as Harry avoided another French driver.
After a brief discussion and while still on a main road, Harry pulled into a much needed Aire de Service, where they could eat lunch, and rest a while. Driving in France on major roads with these constant Aires, made life much easier.
They bought some freshly made baguettes and coffee and sat down at a table in the restaurant.
'Ah, that's better!' sighed Harry after taking the first few sips of his coffee. 'We've been making good time I suppose. Not that we are in any hurry. Should be at the coast by this afternoon.'
'Yeah, the weather has been kind. Not much rain about, is there?' remarked Tony, taking a large bite of his chicken-filled baguette, relishing its chewy crust texture.
'Nope! Long may it continue,' replied Harry.
He gazed out of the window, then settled into his seat a bit more. "I'm looking forward to this next stage of our journey,' he continued. 'Always enjoyed the Med myself and we've both stayed in Port Grimaud before. As ever, it's most enjoyable - although by the sea where some people get bored, there's plenty to do and places to see from there.'
'I'm with you there, dear boy. Perhaps we could get that little train up to Grimaud again. Wonder if it's still running?' Tony took the last bite of his baguette, wiping his mouth on a serviette.
'Hope so,' said Harry with a glazed look in his grey eyes, as if reminiscing. 'I wouldn't fancy walking up there - much too steep. Nice little place though - all those narrow streets and an old church. Do you remember that very small lunch place with the patisserie last time? The weather was great then too. We sat outside and ate, enjoying a nice cold beer with our meal.'
'I do indeed,' replied Tony. Pretty waitress who served us. Wonder if she's still there?'
Tony was a charmer, with a roving eye, who always noticed attractive women around him or nearby. He had no trouble chatting them up, but was respectful too, if one was accompanied by a husband. He was not only charming, but interesting and lovable. Harry was kind, thoughtful, generous.
By now it was time to be on their way again, both rising from the table a little stiff in the legs and hips. They returned to the car which had heated up in the sun during their absence.
'Whew! It stuffy in here,' cried Harry, opening the driver's door and poking his head inside. 'The seats are as hot as hades.'
'I'm almost dead in this hell hole!' came a voice sounding none too pleasant. Miss Madam began complaining the moment the car doors were open.
'Do you realize how hot it can get with all the windows shut?' the voice continued.
'It's her again!' whispered Tony, looking over to where Harry was stripping off a layer or two.
'Take no notice. She'll soon calm down after this bout of stroppiness. I'll turn on the air conditioning the moment we are underway.'
'A person could die in this heat,' Miss Madam uttered.
'But you aren't a real person, are you?'
Tony was settling into his seat again.
'That's what you think!' replied Miss Madam, with aggression in her voice.
'I wonder if we should turn her off?' replied Harry in low tones. 'Think I know the way anyhow.'
'Oh no you don't! You know you'll get lost.'
'I most certainly will not!' replied Harry, beginning to get fed up. He made short work of switching off the complaining sat/nav.
'Ahh...! Peace at last!' he sighed with satisfaction, sweeping out of the car park of the Aire.
'I'm with you there dear boy,' Tony agreed.
Some time later, they reached the edge of the Mediterranean, a sparkling deep blue sight that met their eyes, giving quiet contemplation of their stay here. It was to be in a three story fisherman's type, narrow, semi-detached house. Why they were so-called neither was quite sure, but Port Grimaud was a series of mainly detached and semi-detached two and three story houses, most possessing a quaintness about them; each painted in pastel or ochre type colours - none garish or unacceptable upon the eye of the beholder. At the entrance, a security gate keeper had to wave them through after first checking their identification. Later they were to receive a remote control to open the barriers each time they needed to enter or exit.
The houses wound around small roads, each with its small garden and jetty for mooring yachts - both large and small. Some houses had their own car parking space, whereas Harry needed to park a short distance from the house they were to stay in - on loan for a week.
He drew up outside the house to unload the bags, enjoying the anticipation of being able to stay put for a while, together with the luxury of not needing to seek out hotels. Their surroundings would be peaceful and quiet, doing exactly what they wanted. Harry thought he might even begin on his novel. Something he had procrastinated over far too long.
'Don't know about you Tony,' said Harry, sniffing the sea air coming straight off the nearby beach, 'but I'm ready for a nice cold beer soon. What do you think?'
Tony stretched his legs, flexing his right hip, which often gave him trouble over long distances sitting in one place.
'How about Monroe's?' he replied with a grin. I guess it's still there. We'll soon find out, won't we?'
'Right then! Monroes it is,' confirmed Harry, walking to the front door, painted pale blue.
'I suppose we should walk,' remarked Tony, not at all convinced.
'Perhaps another evening. I know we haven't had much exercise today, but...'
He didn't finish what he was saying, for when they entered the living area, were confronted with several heads turning in their direction. The house was not empty as they'd expected, but occupied by several people not exactly known to them.
A dark haired lady approached them, her hand extended in a greeting.
'Hello there. My name is Christine. And you must be Harry and Tony. You were expected, but not for a few days yet.'
'Oh dear!' said Tony aloud, trying to smile through his thoughts. 'That's because we didn't stay in Avignon I suppose, for those three nights as planned. I'm awfully sorry about this, as we naturally expected the house to be empty. Neither of us gave it another thought.'
'Not to worry,' shrugged Christine, trying to appear gracious.
Harry glanced quickly at Tony, frowning slightly, not knowing what to say next.
Their vacation was hanging on a knife-edge. Was this the end of the world? What to do now.
'Perhaps we could find a hotel for a few days,' suggested Harry hesitantly, not really convinced he was in favour of the idea.
'That won't be necessary,' Christine said, walking toward Harry to grasp his hand. 'I'm sure we can accommodate you. The room at the top on the second floor is still available, if you don't mind sharing a double bed.'
'Hmmm...' muttered Tony under his breath, remembering the last time he had to sleep in the same bed as Harry.
'Oh God!' thought Harry. 'No..., anything but that,' but quickly remembered his manners.
'Errr, it's very good of you Christine..., I'm Harry by the way, and this gentleman,' he added nudging his friend, 'is Tony.'
At that moment, Tony stepped into the breach, extending his hand with a little bow of courtesy to Christine.
'Delighted to meet such an attractive lady. It's very good of you to allow us to stay, as we wouldn't want to intrude in the slightest.'
'Not at all!' replied Christine. 'That's settled then. Besides we are all leaving tomorrow afternoon anyway. I've brought a few family members down for the weekend.'
She twisted on the spot, as if executing a graceful dance step, her dark hair and eyes flashing briefly, indicating the turned heads still fixed on the new arrivals.
Christine faced Harry again.
'You are most welcome to the top floor and you might wish to take your bags up.'
Harry hesitated first, before answering.
'Thanks..., It's most gracious of you.'
He indicated to Tony to grab the bags, then joined him to help, beginning to plod up two flights of stairs.
Christine called out - 'we can all get acquainted when you are settled in.'
'Settled in,' muttered Harry under his breath, beginning on the last few of steps at the top of the house. 'And I have to sleep with Tony...!'
'Good God man! It's not as bad as all that!'
Tony reached the top of the stairs soon after Harry, a little puffed.
'Isn't it? Don't you remember what happened last time?'
'When was that then?' asked Tony puzzled, his tired brain mal-functioning.
'Firstly, it was the smallest double bed I've ever slept in, and secondly, you slept entirely naked and kept rolling toward me. That's bad enough isn't it?' Harry was not holding back any of the details of his ordeal.
'Awe...,' said Tony, somewhat offended. 'But you snored loudly the whole night! What could be worse than that, eh my good man?'
'I did not!' replied Harry indignant at the thought - but thinking to let the matter lie for now, beginning to unpack.
'Oh well,' sighed Tony with a brief shrug. 'At least we're able to stay. Probably better than another hotel.'
'I'm not so sure,' whimpered Harry, still not entirely convinced - then suddenly cheered up. 'Come on Tony, let's try and make a go of it and bugger off to the pub. What do think?'
'I'm with you there old friend. But we must be sociable first. As soon as we are a little organized, we can get the introductions over with, then take the car to Monroe's pub. It's always been my favourite and we might be able to get some free wifi for these contraptions,' he said, nodding at the latest mobile phones that had been thrown haphazardly onto their one and only bed.
Not only had they had the latest satellite navigation gizmo installed in Harry's black Mercedes, but had managed to come to terms with advanced mobile phones. They both had family and friends back home they wished to contact from time to time, and had been tutored by young family members on the ways and wherefores of operating them. At first they were totally confused and bamboozled by the amazing new technology, but slowly came to terms with it, marveling at the way technology has advanced in a relative short time.
'Well I'm ready,' announced Harry, placing the last of his shirts to one side of the cupboard.
'Me too,' replied Tony. 'Let's get going. Onward and downward eh!'
They both trudged down to the ground floor of the narrow, but very pleasant house; passing other bedrooms and bathrooms on their way. Arriving near the small kitchen, then immediately entering the lounge area, appeared full of people. There were two sliding doors from this room, leading out onto a patio, surrounded by a hint of a garden. At the edge of the garden, a path led through a gate onto a jetty, where a yacht was moored bobbing in a gentle breeze, sleek and elegant, its mast tall against a darkening sky of deep blue and grey amassing clouds.
'Ah, there you are!' said Christine, rising up from one of the lounging chairs. She was in hers sixties and the ex wife of another of Tony's best friends - the wife he'd never met before. She had remarried after their amicable separation and went to live in France permanently.
'Let me introduce you to Paul. We've been married quite a while now,' she said pleasantly.
Both Tony and Harry stepped forward to shake his hand, before being introduced to Christine's step daughter and step son in law.
'And these two are Vanessa and her husband George,' she added indicating the two smiling family members, who also briefly shook the hands of Tony and Harry.
Vanessa kept the introductions going until everyone knew everyone else. Tony and Harry shook hands with them all, trying to be polite and gracious, although they both wished them all gone, so they could do what was planned. But in fact realized, they were the intruders.
Next came Vanessa's father Luca, who originated from Italy with the same dark eyes and olive skin.
Last were Christine's step daughter's children, Philip thirteen and Louis ten years of age, who barely smiled in return.
At the end of all the introductions and a certain amount of polite conversation, Harry took the bull by the horns and mentioned they were on their way to the English pub, they all knew as Monroe's.
'Oh excellent!' announced Christine, beaming with delight. 'We'll all go! The pizza's there are to die for. I'm sure the boys, us included, would love one. We could all go together,' she reassured everyone.
Harry could almost hear the groans emitting from Tony's throat. He tried hard to smile at the expectant faces.
'A grand idea!' he said, conjuring up the enthusiasm with great difficulty.
'That's put a spanner in the works,' muttered Tony as they prepared for a much larger gathering at the pub than first thought.
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