The next few hours at the English pub in Port Grimaud, known as Monroes - named after the actress - were what could be called, organized chaos.
Harry and Tony hoped beyond measure after a lengthy drive south to the Mediterranean, they would not only have the small three-story house to themselves for a week, but the peace and quiet that went with it.
The 'lady of the dashboard', nicknamed Miss Madam, was taking a rest from her usual duties. The sat/nav was installed in Harry's black Mercedes car to assist them, specially for their extended tour of the south of France and beyond. A decision was agreed upon earlier by the two elderly friends, to switch her off abruptly; all it took was a knowing glance from each other. Hence Miss Madam had become argumentative, stroppy and difficult to manage. So there was only one choice in the matter, and that was to end the constant moaning protestations emitting from the dashboard. Harry and Tony hoped to relax in a more congenial atmosphere, driving on towards the Mediterranean coastline and the yachting fraternity of Port Grimaud, even though neither had ever sailed a boat in their lives. But they had other fish to fry.
Harry had driven them south from the so-called debacle of Avignon, where it became impossible to find their hotel amongst narrow one-way streets, with no parking imminent. He soon remembered how stressful the experience was, taking an hour looking for their hotel, with no joy at the end of it. He never wished to repeat the experience either. The weather was hot, not helping their tempers. Miss Madam had abandoned them in their hour of need, repeating the same line - 'you have reached your destination!'
'Like heck we have,' replied Tony, scowling towards the dashboard.
So it was necessary they continue on toward the coast, having no choice in the matter, looking forward to spending a peaceful week in a friend's house.
But it wasn't to be.
The house, unbeknown to them, was full of people they hardly knew and now they were to visit the English pub - their favourite - with an entourage of adults varying in ages, plus two children!
Harry drove Christine and her new husband Paul along with Tony, down the narrow road over the bridge leading to Monroe's - Christine being the ex-wife of a friend of Tony's and neither knew her all that well, nor expected the house to be so full of people when they arrived - although they were not expected until a few days later.
In the following car were Vanessa and husband George, their two children, Phillip thirteen, Louis ten, and Vanessa's father Luca, Italian by birth.
They all trooped into Monroe's pub, a short distance by car from the house, where Tony and Harry would automatically gravitate toward the bar. The rest of the party headed to one of the outside tables, all eager to try another of Monroe's excellent pizzas.
Tony began groaning from somewhere deep down in his chest, sounding like a dog growling having been denied his bone. As they walked through the doors leading to the bar area, Harry hardly dare glance over at his friend's colourful face, which by now was turning a peculiar shade of purple - then stopped abruptly, remembering they had children with them. 'Oh,' he thought, 'so that's what's wrong with Tony!'
All the others had arranged themselves neatly around a large table, the two friends backtracking to sit with them while they chose what they wanted to drink - assuming food would be ordered later.
Harry and Tony, being the best of friends for many years, sometimes travelled together during their retirement, staying on previous occasions in Port Grimaud. They both knew the barmaid well in Monroe's pub, having danced the night away with her during earlier holidays. The beer was always good and so was the company. But somehow it wasn't the same this time. Perhaps it was because they were accompanied by these people who were almost complete strangers, which didn't lift their spirits in the slightest.
Hoping she was still on duty after the last time they visited, where both had fallen instantly in love with Katy - pronounced 'Katee' - looked longingly over toward the bar area for a glimpse of her. Katy was not young, but blessed with a cheery face, dimples set deep in rosy cheeks resembling ripe cherries, dark hair and eyes that flashed with fun and merriment - a Sicilian Norman by birth, who always made them feel welcome. Both men sighed silently, trying desperately to put on a brave face, but failing dismally.
The town was tucked into a bay, with a curving beach, each house possessing its own jetty and yacht of varying sizes. Port Grimaud was a sailer's paradise, but Tony in particular, always found other things to do other than sailing, being a good golfer. Harry was interested in medieval history and promised himself he'd begin writing his book. Being an expert in procrastination, wondered if indeed, it would ever get written. They'd looked forward to this vacation, relishing the opportunities there would be in visiting this part of France, on the Cote d'Azur.
'What now?' Harry said, in a low whisper, before they reached the others, who by now were all seated, chattering amongst themselves. 'Do we treat them all to a round of drinks, or...,'
'I really don't know dear boy,' answered Tony hurriedly in low tones. 'Let's wait and see what happens first, eh?' Harry was inclined to sit on his hands a bit anyway, the thought of shouting the first round of drinks, not really appealing to him, although he was incredibly generous most of the time. Both men were more than ready for a beer, usually ordering two Kilkenny's - their favourite. So they bided their time to see what would happen next.
Tony was not in the happiest of moods, having to share their first evening with what appeared as a gaggle of geese, all chattering at once. The thought of any peace and quiet had gone clean out of the window.
It wasn't time before they found out.
'Oh do come and sit with us here,' suggested Christine, patting the chair beside her, not looking all that enthusiastic. Both men were feeling the same, trying not to display their present mood. The two young boys were beginning to argue who was to hold the drinks menu, as they didn't appear to be in abundance.
'Let me,' cried Louis, the younger of the two, aged ten. I'm the youngest and I should be first.' He made a grab for the menu from under his mother's nose, who was busy confiding with her husband George.
'But you can't manage it like I can,' replied his older brother,' puffing out his chest, trying to look important. Thirteen was an age when boys were beginning to feel very grown up, wanting to take control of matters. Phillip almost snatched the menu from Louis, when their mother Vanessa, Christine's step daughter, leaned over to intervene.
'Now now you two. Try and work things out amicably.'
'What's amicably?' asked Louis, gazing up at his mother with a curios look on his face, eyebrows almost knitting together.
'It's what you two should be demonstrating,' replied their mother.
'But I still don't know what it means,' frowned Louis, not wishing to give up yet. 'I want to know.'
His older brother sighed, about to try and explain, when Tony and Harry reluctantly sat down nearby. Phillip immediately forgot all about the explanation, feeling he was off the hook.
Paul, Christine's second husband, who had been quiet, attempted to hush them tactfully, while their grandfather Luca, burst forth with a string of Italian words, gesticulating toward their mother, Vanessa.
Tony was almost beside himself by now and rose to visit the bar to order a beer for himself and Harry. He managed to make himself heard against the din of everyone talking at once. 'Would anyone else like a drink?' he asked quietly, hoping no one had heard. Instantly five hands rose and all he could do was ask each one individually, before catching the eye of Katy, mercifully. She swept over to their table, a cheerful smile on her face and a wink for both friends as they noticed her deep cleavage when she bent down to chat briefly with the two boys.
'Qu est-ce-que vous voulez boire mes chers?'
'What did she say?' asked Luca, whose French not being up to scratch.
'She wants to know what we want to drink,' replied Harry. His French was much improved after vising France many times.
After the drinks were brought, the chattering continued, now sounding like a flock of gulls fighting over a fish catch. Soon there was uproar over the type of pizzas everyone wanted. Harry looked sideways at Tony, briefly rolling his eyes. He knew instantly what was going on in his friend's mind, but for now, there was nothing they could do.
As the evening drew on, Christine announced they were all staying in the house another two days. A faint deep growl sounded in Tony's lower regions, like a volcano about to erupt, knowing it would be unbearable to tolerate this for much longer, let alone two more days. The colour of his face was again changing from red to purple. He whispered to Harry sitting next to him. 'What now dear boy? I'm for baling out. How about you?'
'That suits me fine,' answered Harry, keeping his voice low. 'But where do we stay now? Nothing has been planned.' There was a certain amount of anguish in his voice.
They both rose at the same time, excusing themselves, before heading to the bar for a much needed discussion. It wasn't long before all their problems had been answered. Katy leaned over the bar with a warm smile on her lovely face, a twinkle in her eye after overhearing what the two friends had been discussing.
'I have a spare room with twin beds, if that would help,' she offered. 'I live in the hilltop village of Grimaud, not far from here.'
Tony beamed instantly, his present mood fading quickly. He didn't need to consult Harry, he knew what his friend would be thinking. So with an elegant gesture, resembling a swashbuckling buccaneer, answered. 'Why thank you dear lady, we'd be delighted if it's no trouble.'
'No trouble at all gentlemen. When may I expect you - tonight?'
Harry was impressed with the swift decision Tony had made on their behalf. 'I think tonight would be a little soon. We need time to inform everyone,' he replied, nodding toward the outside table where the others were gathered. He turned back to Katy who was leaning over the bar voluptuously. 'How about tomorrow night?'
'Ce est genial!' Katy smiled nodding her head, then proceeded to inform them how to find her place.
'No problem with that,' said Harry, his confidence getting the better of him. 'We have a sat/nav, don't we Tony?'
'Errr... yes,' he mused, remembering the problems they'd had with Miss Madam.
'It's not too difficult,' Katy answered, wiping the wooden bench-top of the bar with a cloth.
After much bantering over pizzas, the adults drinking the last of their wine and the two boys quiet for once, it was time to return to the three story house for the night. Harry drove carefully and upon arrival, accompanied Tony as they plodded up two flights of stairs, to a room where they were to share a double bed, much to their annoyance.
'I'm looking forward to twin beds for the next two nights,' he grumbled, not looking forward to a night spent with Tony.
'Anything would have to be better than this' replied Tony, puffing as they reached the second floor at the top of the house. He always preferred a light left on somewhere, not relishing the dark since he was a young lad. But Harry was dead against it, preferring to try and block out the lights shining across the water, seeping through the windows. They needed to be open as the weather was still very warm, almost balmy.
An hour later after a brief slumber, Tony needed to use the bathroom. He rose and toddled toward the door-less room in the dark, before Harry awoke with a start when an enormous crash sounded somewhere in the room.
'Damn, blast and double bugger!'
'What on earth's the matter?' enquired Harry, instantly woken by the loud crashing, wondering what the devil was going on.
'Help me up will you?' pleaded a voice from out of the darkness. Tony had tripped over one of their suitcases, groaning that every bone in his body had been broken. 'It's all your fault!' he continued. 'I hate the dark - you know that. Now help me up.'
'Where on earth are you?' Harry stumbled out of the bed they were sharing for a night.
'Over here you fool! Where else would I be?'
'Alright, I'm coming...' said Harry trying to find the light switch.
Another hour or two passed as both friends managed to get a little more sleep, with Harry snoring loudly. The mattress they slept on tendered to dip in the centre and soon Tony, while still fast asleep, rolled toward Harry, who woke again with the feeling of a half naked man beside him. Although well into his seventies, Harry shot out of bed, momentarily shocked. Rummaging around, he found a large bolster cushion and promptly placed it between himself and Tony, wondering if it was safe to return to his side of the bed.
Mercifully, a new day dawned, warm and still on the scene outside. Boats bobbed about in a gentle breeze, their masts waving to and fro as their sheets jangled against them, emitting a soft hum through the late summer day.
After explanations and brief packing, the men were on their way to Katy's place for two nights. She lived high on the hill of Grimaud, a sleepy old village dominated by the eleventh century castle, an old church and narrow streets. It overlooked grape vines in the valley below, not far from the Gulf of St. Tropez and the shimmering French Riviera. The village had a long history which captured Harry's interest.
The journey up the slope of the hill leading to the old village, appeared straight forward for Miss Madam to follow. The instructions Harry gave her lead them in the right direction - or so they thought. Both men had visited Grimaud before, but only a small part of the village where they had eaten lunch in small cafe's or restaurants, indulging in their favourite beer. A small train took visiting passengers from Port Grimaud, depositing them approximately in the village centre. Now it was necessary to follow Miss Madam's instructions, in order to find where Katy lived, but soon realized they were lost yet again.
'What now?' sighed Tony, feeling hot and bothered, even with the air conditioning on in the car. 'Don't tell me Miss Madam is lost. Oh... no, not again! How can that happen?'
'I'm not lost!' was the pert reply coming from the dashboard area.
'Oh yes you are!' Harry replied. 'Can't rely on you for a moment, can we?' he groaned.
'It's not my fault!'
Miss Madam was becoming her usual stroppy self again.
'Then who's fault is it?' retorted Tony, looking exasperated. 'It's now we need you. How about some plain and simple directions, eh?' He was beginning to wave his arms about, glancing over at Harry, whose face was twisted in a confused grimace. He shrugged his shoulders, looking at the address Katy had written down for them.
After another hour of confused directions from Miss Madam leading them nowhere in particular, announcing the usual 'you have reached your destination' line, both Tony and Harry were thoroughly fed up, deciding reluctantly, it was time they abandoned their plans.
They headed back down the hill toward the coast, to some form of civilization and hopefully a hotel, where it was essential there were two rooms available.
'Ohhh... to have a room to myself,' muttered Harry.
'Amen to that!' replied Tony with a grin.
No comments:
Post a Comment